I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
