in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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