Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
