i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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