It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
