very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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