just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
