i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
