i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
