but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to be your penis for a week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
