dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
