I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
