he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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