And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
