i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
