A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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