Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
