I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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