That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
