How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
