will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
