hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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