No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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