The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
