It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
