Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
