Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
