you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
