Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
is it fun? or sober?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
