I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
