Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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