the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
