he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
