@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
