Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
