I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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