so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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