Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
