Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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