I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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