Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
