I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
