I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
