he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
