Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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