Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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