if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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