careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
