need another drink. this is the easiest way
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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