After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
